My Heart Hurts

Yes, my heart hurts...  but only because it feels like it could throb right out of my chest with love and joy! Clif and I do not get to meet our children in person until this coming weekend, but we've gotten a "sneak peek" over the last few days.  Last Friday we skyped with the foster mom, Christina.  She was SUPER informative and so encouraging!  Hailey actually has started calling us "Daddy Clif" and "Momma Casey" and requested meeting us through a skype visit so that she could ask us the list of questions she had created.  So, Sunday, we met all three children and Jim, the foster dad, via skype!  It was ...  well, honestly, words just cannot describe how it felt.  Hailey smiled and giggled the whole time and attempted to ask us questions, but of course was a little camera shy :).  Brian began singing a song and it didn't take long before the 3 year old boy in him took over and he found something more interesting to do haha!  In the end, we got to see Hayden who cooed back and forth with us.  It was AMAZING and made us itch even more to hold them!!!  

Tonight Clif sent Christina a text message asking her to tell the kiddos "hi" for us.  Hailey called him shortly after and carried on a conversation with us that was as sweet as honey- just GOLDEN!  She talked about what she did this evening and I asked her lots of questions to which she sweetly responded, "Yeeeaaahhh".  And the one statement that took my breath away was, "I'm gonna dream about you".  Does it get any better than that???????!!!!!!  She also wanted her foster parents to text us and make sure we didn't forget to dream about her.

I'd post a picture, a million pictures, if I could.  But until we are given permission, I can only tell you that they are BEAUTIFUL!  Hailey is a petite little thing with brown hair and blue eyes and the sweetest smile!  You can tell just by her pictures that she is a DiVa lol.  Brian has blonde hair with awesome cowlicks haha, much like the ones Clif has, and hazel eyes!  He has the best cheese face grin and a voice that could melt any heart!  Of course, he is a manly boy and loves trains, t-ball, and MEAT :).  Hayden is a chubby and HAPPY baby whose blonde hair and blue eyes will kill!  He is going to be a heartbreaker!  

My heart literally aches for them!  May the next few days pass quickly so that we can meet them and make sweet memories to cherish!  And may they transition smoothly into our home in *hopefully* the next few weeks!

Thank You Lord!

Meeting 'our' Children... Surreal

God, YOU are awesome and evident in every facet of life!   Your plan is unfolding, and although unknown to us now, is meant for no other reason but for us to worship You.  May we seek You and praise You when we least want to and most need to.  Fill us with strength and self-discipline to mirror your son- a strength that only You can provide.

We have been completely overwhelmed and humbled by the support, prayers, and encouragement that have been showered upon us each and every day!  I told someone recently that I'm not sure what we ever did to deserve the love that's being shown.  Words cannot describe...  So, just THANK YOU!  And praise God for you!  We are receiving lots of great items that we definitely need.  There are still lots of items that we still need to get before these children arrive.  It's difficult to tell others what you need when we haven't even met our children yet!  So, here's the down low with that:

Next weekend, April 26-28, we will meet our children!  (And yes, it seems completely surreal to say that!)  Per Clif's facebook post:  

We are going to spend some time with them Friday evening, and then go to Hailey's Teeball game on Saturday, and then maybe go to the Fort Worth Zoo that afternoon. After that we can begin weekend visits with them...when the worker told Hailey about us she asked her if it was alright if we came over to meet them, she said, "Are they going to bring toys?" HA! Let me just tell you right now, I am going to be wrapped around her finger! :-) 

It is SO hard to wait!  We are itching to touch them and are aching to hear their voices!  At the same time, we are anxious and hoping that they are quick to attach.  This territory is unchartered and unimaginable- which is REALLY scary!  We will have weekend visits in Forth Worth for a few weekends and, depending on how quickly they respond/ attach, they will move here with us.  If only I was the kind of person that wasn't a planner and thrived off of schedules!!!  Not knowing exactly how many visits we will have there and exactly when they will be here with us is painful!  But, one thing I can rest in is that God's hand is at work in our lives and these children's lives.  

We are READY!

"Watts, table for FIVE please"!!!

Our last post shared the possibility of our being selected for another sibling group of three.  Unlike our most recent experience with a selection staffing, we have felt at such peace this time around- I've actually been sleeping well ;).  We left yesterday morning (Thursday, April 12) for the Dallas area to represent ourselves as the adoptive parents for these kiddos.  We had a nice calm drive and expected to meet the other prospective parents at this selection staffing.  However, when we arrived and the meeting began, we were the only couple in attendance.  We sat in a small conference room, lit only by sunlight from its large windows, at a few rectangular tables pushed together.  Five workers (CPS, CASA, and an attorney), along with our caseworker, surrounded us and we began our panel interview.  They began by telling us all about these three children- their background in foster care, their physical and cognitive development, and their social characteristics.  Questions asked to us were, "How do you see yourself as a father/ mother?  How has your family responded to your decision to adopt?  What made you decide to become licensed for THREE instead of one or two?  Have you discussed a plan for the children as you work?..."  And of course they enjoyed my scrapbook and asked questions about that ;).  The meeting lasted until about 2:15 or so and ended on a great note- they kept our scrapbook and said they would get in touch with us the next day (Friday) or the following Monday.  Everyone was SO nice and easy to talk with and we felt great about how the meeting had gone.  And we knew that either way, things would work out.  So again, we felt at peace with whatever God had planned.

Clif and I ate a late lunch and started toward Nacogdoches at about 3:30.  I sent mass text messages letting everyone know that the meeting had gone well and that we would know something Friday or Monday as we were told.  About 30 minutes into our drive, Clif received a phone call from one of the caseworkers at the meeting informing him that we had been selected as the adoptive family for the three children!!!  He hadn't even said good-bye when I began sobbing tears of joy.  And every few minutes I found myself laughing or crying, or doing both at the same time!  A new kind of joyful emotional roller coaster began at that moment and has continued into today.  I am sure it will carry on until we have them in our home permanently, and then an even more interesting emotional roller coaster will begin as we experience parenthood with THREE!  But, it will be our new "normal".

The most asked questions have been:  "When will you get them?" and "Names? Ages?"  Well, first, they are Hailey- 4 (nearly 5), Bryan- 3, and Hayden- 11 months.  Ironically, they favor us a bit- Clif especially.  We will begin visits with them where they are now in the very near future.  Soon after, they will be transitioned into our home.  The adoption will become legal 6 months later.  

We are overwhelmed with joy that we have been chosen, overwhelmed with the support and encouragement from everyone, and ecstatic that these children's lives have changed dramatically- and they don't even know it :).  We are still praying that things all work out so that we get these children in our home soon and begin pouring into them.  I suppose I still feel every now and then that something could happen to rip this amazing moment from our lives.  Of course, even if that did happen, we will still know that God has plans to make us parents!  We are so excited to write more about this journey as it continues!!! 

Possibilities... part II

About four weeks ago, we were chosen as a possible family for a sibling group of three.  Two weeks after that, it was determined which family of the three chosen would become their "forever family".  Wednesday, March 28 at about 5 pm, we received the phone call that we'd been waiting for all day (or so it seemed).  What a nerve wrecking day it was!  We didn't think we would be so anxious- but what's to be expected?  I mean, we were waiting to hear if we were going to become parents, which is life-changing!  Clif walked in and simply said, "We didn't get them."  It's such a weird place to be emotionally.  We felt relieved that we finally knew one way or the other whether we were parents.  We felt sad that we didn't get the children for which we'd been praying, but happy that they'd been placed with a stable family.  And we felt frustration from thinking that we could possibly have to wait another 3-4 months before even being considered again!

So this must be the part that "they" warn about in foster/ adoption classes and training manuals.  That emotional roller coaster.  And for us, the physical labor also, as we prepare our house for children (and a future sale hopefully).  "How much longer will it be???", we tend to think.

Maybe not long at all!  To our surprise, we were selected among three families for another sibling group of three just one day after the sad news, as aforementioned.  How crazy is that???  These children are about the same ages as the others (4, 3, and 10 months).  This Thursday, April 12, is the selection staffing where a committee will meet to determine the most appropriate family with which to place the children.  The process this time around is a bit different than last time.  We have actually been invited to represent ourselves at the meeting.  Last time we were informed of the decision the day of the meeting.  We're not quite sure how that will happen this time- they may let us know while we are there, and they may decide to call or email at a later time.  Again, we are praying for these children and will be content with God's plan however it turns out.  Of course we believe we are the "right" home for these children ;), but we serve a mighty God that has our every move in life orchestrated to perfection.  

We'll keep on bloggin'!  If you'll keep on prayin'! ....  well, we'll still blog regardless of whether you pray or not, but we sure would appreciate it ;)