Yes, we are finally GETTING THERE! And by "there", I do mean having a child in our home soon! Our home study finally took place in November (and was as painless as it could possibly be, thank God). Because we have decided to foster to adopt, we had to attend two additional trainings which we have officially completed. We are proud to say that we are a licensed home and ready to take in a child/ children!
Many people ask what our preferences are in regards to age, sex, or ethnicity. We are licensed to take children from 0-10 years old, but prefer children under the ages of 4-6. Boy or girl?- either one! Black, white, hispanic?- doesn't matter! Basically, if they are young, healthy, and need a home, we'll take 'em! We also will consider sibling groups- yes, we are aware that this would be a lot to take on, but we're not afraid :).
Since becoming a licensed home (which was just last week), we have had only a couple of situations where we could be possible foster/ adoptive parents. Our "Dear Caseworker" letter has been turned in for one child, however we have to keep in mind that there are likely several other parents being considered and circumstances about which we are unaware. So, we are trying not to get our hopes up, but instead are continuing to think about the perfect plan God has for us and our future children. Even if this child, or the many children for whom we are not chosen, is not placed in our home, it is awesome to think about how we are praying for a child who will never meet us and we will know that he or she is likely part of a new and fantastic permanent family.
That's all for the time being! We are officially "waiting" :).
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
No End in Sight???
In the last post, I proudly wrote, "We also are VERY happy to announce that our home study has been scheduled for next Tuesday, October 25! FINALLY!"
HA! Like things would really work out like we expect...
The coordinator we are now working with came into our home, sat down at the kitchen table, laid out a set of what looked like really important papers and folders, and began talking to us about different things that had originally been very unclear. As she went on, she dropped this phrase, "...and when you they come to do the home study..." Huh??? We thought this WAS the home study!!! She apologized for having misled us and went on to answer the questions that kept growing in our minds afterward.
Needless to say, we were pretty peeved/ bummed. Here we are getting super excited about getting this step completed and then another wrench gets thrown in the way.
BUT, here's where God's work is evident:
In recent conversations, Clif and I began to think realistically about the time frame behind awaiting a child to adopt- especially a very young child. When a young child becomes available for adoption (say, an infant up to 3 or 4 years of age), there are AT LEAST 80 profiles that are accepted within a very short amount of time for that child. Our chances of being selected and being a great match for that child at that point are not necessarily slim, but also not great. As we discussed this with our new coordinator last night, we came to the decision that we will foster to adopt, which is different than straight adoption in a few ways (which I can explain at another point or at your request). This DOES mean that there is a possibility that the child coming into our home could be removed and returned to his/ her birthparents. However, if they are not removed and are a good match for us and us for them, we would have first "dibs", if you will.
Because we have made a slightly different decision, we now are required to take more courses to qualify as a foster home. Therefore, completing our home study right now is irrelevant, because we cannot take children into our home without first having had these other courses. And we probably wouldn't have come to this decision without having first met with our new coordinator last night. And maybe we would not have gotten our last few bits of preparation complete had we not assumed last night was the home study and had we not somehow had the extra bit of money this month to complete those preparations.
In all things, God is good. Even in our frustrated state of mind, God is present and working in ways we cannot understand. We are excited about our new decision, but again are praying that we can quickly accomplish these tasks that will get us "qualified" as foster parents. We are anxiously awaiting our turn to become parents. Even though there seems to be no end in sight, we know that God has already constructed what will be and in this, we are faithful.
HA! Like things would really work out like we expect...
The coordinator we are now working with came into our home, sat down at the kitchen table, laid out a set of what looked like really important papers and folders, and began talking to us about different things that had originally been very unclear. As she went on, she dropped this phrase, "...and when you they come to do the home study..." Huh??? We thought this WAS the home study!!! She apologized for having misled us and went on to answer the questions that kept growing in our minds afterward.
Needless to say, we were pretty peeved/ bummed. Here we are getting super excited about getting this step completed and then another wrench gets thrown in the way.
BUT, here's where God's work is evident:
In recent conversations, Clif and I began to think realistically about the time frame behind awaiting a child to adopt- especially a very young child. When a young child becomes available for adoption (say, an infant up to 3 or 4 years of age), there are AT LEAST 80 profiles that are accepted within a very short amount of time for that child. Our chances of being selected and being a great match for that child at that point are not necessarily slim, but also not great. As we discussed this with our new coordinator last night, we came to the decision that we will foster to adopt, which is different than straight adoption in a few ways (which I can explain at another point or at your request). This DOES mean that there is a possibility that the child coming into our home could be removed and returned to his/ her birthparents. However, if they are not removed and are a good match for us and us for them, we would have first "dibs", if you will.
Because we have made a slightly different decision, we now are required to take more courses to qualify as a foster home. Therefore, completing our home study right now is irrelevant, because we cannot take children into our home without first having had these other courses. And we probably wouldn't have come to this decision without having first met with our new coordinator last night. And maybe we would not have gotten our last few bits of preparation complete had we not assumed last night was the home study and had we not somehow had the extra bit of money this month to complete those preparations.
In all things, God is good. Even in our frustrated state of mind, God is present and working in ways we cannot understand. We are excited about our new decision, but again are praying that we can quickly accomplish these tasks that will get us "qualified" as foster parents. We are anxiously awaiting our turn to become parents. Even though there seems to be no end in sight, we know that God has already constructed what will be and in this, we are faithful.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
The journey we call "LIFE"
Well, I'm usually pretty good about starting off with an interesting introduction, but I think I'll just jump right in with where we are in our LLLOOOONNNNGGGG adoption journey... that's sure to receive a reward for its longevity. If it doesn't, I'll be expecting a certificate of some sort from at least one person we know, **hint, hint** :).
So, two weekends ago mom came down and we worked like I've never worked before (or so it felt the day after) in high hopes of getting everything ready for the home health inspection that was to occur (and did occur) the following Monday. I am SUPER thankful for her help! Our home health inspection went alright, but there were a few things mentioned that caused our social worker to say, "I'll jot down that you'll get those things fixed and I'll have to do one more walk-through before the home study." That was a little disheartening, but we already have a couple of those very minor things checked off our list. Most of it was a matter of getting all meds locked up and moving some tools and cleaning supplies to super high shelves or locking them up (lots of locking things up). We asked several questions about when that next "walk-through" would be and how long before our home study, however we were met with few answers.
A week or so later, it came to our surprise that our case worker had resigned to pursue other career opportunities. Someone from the agency has already picked up with us and is keeping in touch with us on a regular basis and answering questions in a very timely manner. We also are VERY happy to announce that our home study has been scheduled for next Tuesday, October 25! FINALLY! No "walk-through" ahead of time, just the home study itself! We know that it will go smoothly and quickly. After our home study is approved (which could take some time) we will officially be "waiting" for our child to come along.
While we wait, we have discussed becoming foster parents for legal risk children (basically, children whose parents' rights are likely, but not guaranteed, to be terminated). If we did this, we would request to foster infants and would have the option to adopt them should the birth parents' rights be terminated. Of course, if the parents' rights are not terminated, the child would leave us and go back to the birth parents, OR to someone in the family willing to accept responsibility for the child, which would be very difficult for us. At the same time, we would take care of them like they were our very own which would be a blessing to them (even for just a short time) and to us.
And so the journey continues :). Lots of interesting things are happening along the way, not only in our adoption process, but also in our day to day lives- new jobs (for us both), changes in our "family" (our dogs lol), and changes in our home. God has provided and will continue to provide and strengthen us in this amazing journey we call "LIFE"!
So, two weekends ago mom came down and we worked like I've never worked before (or so it felt the day after) in high hopes of getting everything ready for the home health inspection that was to occur (and did occur) the following Monday. I am SUPER thankful for her help! Our home health inspection went alright, but there were a few things mentioned that caused our social worker to say, "I'll jot down that you'll get those things fixed and I'll have to do one more walk-through before the home study." That was a little disheartening, but we already have a couple of those very minor things checked off our list. Most of it was a matter of getting all meds locked up and moving some tools and cleaning supplies to super high shelves or locking them up (lots of locking things up). We asked several questions about when that next "walk-through" would be and how long before our home study, however we were met with few answers.
A week or so later, it came to our surprise that our case worker had resigned to pursue other career opportunities. Someone from the agency has already picked up with us and is keeping in touch with us on a regular basis and answering questions in a very timely manner. We also are VERY happy to announce that our home study has been scheduled for next Tuesday, October 25! FINALLY! No "walk-through" ahead of time, just the home study itself! We know that it will go smoothly and quickly. After our home study is approved (which could take some time) we will officially be "waiting" for our child to come along.
While we wait, we have discussed becoming foster parents for legal risk children (basically, children whose parents' rights are likely, but not guaranteed, to be terminated). If we did this, we would request to foster infants and would have the option to adopt them should the birth parents' rights be terminated. Of course, if the parents' rights are not terminated, the child would leave us and go back to the birth parents, OR to someone in the family willing to accept responsibility for the child, which would be very difficult for us. At the same time, we would take care of them like they were our very own which would be a blessing to them (even for just a short time) and to us.
And so the journey continues :). Lots of interesting things are happening along the way, not only in our adoption process, but also in our day to day lives- new jobs (for us both), changes in our "family" (our dogs lol), and changes in our home. God has provided and will continue to provide and strengthen us in this amazing journey we call "LIFE"!
Thursday, September 29, 2011
PROGRESS, Finally!
Can you believe it? We have finally made some progress! Somehow this month flew by (perhaps it could be because of working two jobs and a busy schedule on top of that???) and it flew by without much house work getting done in preparation for a home study. I suppose I'm okay with that. This is our home, it's fit for a child, and we will continually be working towards remodeling it to become unique to us (and most other buyers ha!).
But, ALL papers have been completed and signed, by us at least, our fire inspection is complete, and our home health inspection is taking place this coming Monday, October 3 at 3:30!!! I wanted it completed in the first week of October, and so it will be! Of course, now I'm fretting about getting everything completed for the health inspection in one weekend. Thankfully, my awesome mom is coming in for the weekend to help get this place more than ready to meet/ exceed the requirements of the health inspection. As soon as we pass the health inspection, the home study will FINALLY be scheduled!
I'm SO excited that we can see an end to the beginning of our "waiting". At that point we will at least know that our next step will be opening our arms to our child/children. Praise God for His perfect timing and the lessons He teaches us in the times we struggle to understand Him and His plans for us!
But, ALL papers have been completed and signed, by us at least, our fire inspection is complete, and our home health inspection is taking place this coming Monday, October 3 at 3:30!!! I wanted it completed in the first week of October, and so it will be! Of course, now I'm fretting about getting everything completed for the health inspection in one weekend. Thankfully, my awesome mom is coming in for the weekend to help get this place more than ready to meet/ exceed the requirements of the health inspection. As soon as we pass the health inspection, the home study will FINALLY be scheduled!
I'm SO excited that we can see an end to the beginning of our "waiting". At that point we will at least know that our next step will be opening our arms to our child/children. Praise God for His perfect timing and the lessons He teaches us in the times we struggle to understand Him and His plans for us!
YEAH! :)
Friday, September 9, 2011
Beautiful Things
God's timing?
Sure, that'd be nice to trust in...
Truthfully... I've been relying on my own timing. I don't consider myself much of a control freak in most areas of life, but I am definitely such when it comes to schedules and the timing of "life". For example, I have WAY too many projects in mind for our house. Right, having projects in mind is not a bad thing. However, when I think of a project, I have the tendency to want it done NOW. And because we're not made of money and time, I have to wait, and what's worse is I don't have a specific date at which I will no longer have to wait and the project(s) will be complete.
It seems like the timelines of so many things right now are questionable. Perhaps the timeline of our adoption is the most difficult to understand. We started in January with this process. Yep, it's nearly been a year. We're still awaiting the home study. And even after we have that completed, who knows how long it will be before we actually have the laughter, tears, and sweet breath of a child in our home. I had planned to have a "work weekend" here THIS month. Of course, a plan was all it was. I got angry that everyone's timing didn't work out. I want the home study done NOW, dang it! Sometimes I think, "If I was pregnant, I'd know how long it would be- 9 months." But the wait is a struggle, and frankly rather depressing.
So, I can only wonder what God might be trying to teach me right now. Or wonder what miraculous thing He has planned that requires the wait... That's something to think about, hmmm... Something beautiful, I'm sure.
I'm required now to only trust in His timing, not my own. What a relief it is to know that the only true God who created me has authored my life! He makes beautiful things out of dust, and will make beautiful things out of this wait.
Sure, that'd be nice to trust in...
Truthfully... I've been relying on my own timing. I don't consider myself much of a control freak in most areas of life, but I am definitely such when it comes to schedules and the timing of "life". For example, I have WAY too many projects in mind for our house. Right, having projects in mind is not a bad thing. However, when I think of a project, I have the tendency to want it done NOW. And because we're not made of money and time, I have to wait, and what's worse is I don't have a specific date at which I will no longer have to wait and the project(s) will be complete.
It seems like the timelines of so many things right now are questionable. Perhaps the timeline of our adoption is the most difficult to understand. We started in January with this process. Yep, it's nearly been a year. We're still awaiting the home study. And even after we have that completed, who knows how long it will be before we actually have the laughter, tears, and sweet breath of a child in our home. I had planned to have a "work weekend" here THIS month. Of course, a plan was all it was. I got angry that everyone's timing didn't work out. I want the home study done NOW, dang it! Sometimes I think, "If I was pregnant, I'd know how long it would be- 9 months." But the wait is a struggle, and frankly rather depressing.
So, I can only wonder what God might be trying to teach me right now. Or wonder what miraculous thing He has planned that requires the wait... That's something to think about, hmmm... Something beautiful, I'm sure.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Finally, some guidance!
In the most recent post, which was about 3 days ago, I vented/ complained/ shared about our frustration with the lack of communication from our adoption coordinator. We decided to state our concerns (once again) to this person and also provide our decision to go elsewhere if necessary. We FINALLY were provided some guidance in how to move forward in the process. Turns out, we still have papers to sign, things to turn in, and things to have done! Imagine that!
Here is what we HAVE completed/ turned in:
So, I write all of this not to have a place just to share our frustrations (God knows I do enough of that with my friends and family). But someday, someone else out there will be going through the same process and maybe, just maybe, they will be experiencing what we're going through. And perhaps this will provide some insight to their decisions or at least learn that being frank, but also patient, promotes a much easier adoption process.
That's all for now! I'm hopeful that the next update will be soon and will be informing all about the experience of a home study. Meanwhile, check out our "Dear Caseworker" letter and tell me who wouldn't want us as parents!!! ;)
Here is what we HAVE completed/ turned in:
- Pre-application
- Application
- Foster/ adoption classes
- Rather long questionnaire
- Reference forms
Here is what we STILL have to complete:
- Floor plan with smoke alarms and fire extinguishers included
- Home health inspection
- Fire inspection
- Walk through
- Sign more papers
- Dear Caseworker Letter (which I've included in this blog)
Will the to-do list ever end? Will we turn these things in and be informed of more??? We are told that the home study will be scheduled after the aforementioned items are completed. We shall see. At least we're one step closer to seeing an end to the most tedious part of it all.
So, I write all of this not to have a place just to share our frustrations (God knows I do enough of that with my friends and family). But someday, someone else out there will be going through the same process and maybe, just maybe, they will be experiencing what we're going through. And perhaps this will provide some insight to their decisions or at least learn that being frank, but also patient, promotes a much easier adoption process.
That's all for now! I'm hopeful that the next update will be soon and will be informing all about the experience of a home study. Meanwhile, check out our "Dear Caseworker" letter and tell me who wouldn't want us as parents!!! ;)
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Wish we were waiting...
Yeah, we're waiting... but I wish we were waiting for something else. Let me explain:
I posted, probably about a month ago, with great relief, that we got news that all our paper work had been received along with forms from all our references. With this news, we were also told, "We're moving forward". However, we weren't necessarily told with what we were moving forward and have yet to hear ANYTHING concerning the progress of our adoption journey.
So, yeah, we're waiting- on a home study. But the more impatient part of me desperately wishes we were waiting for something else- our child! Along with the impatience during our "wait", frustration fills the remaining space of my thoughts on it all. The question, "How's the adoption process coming?", once an exciting or at least pleasant question to answer, has now become a boiling pot of disappointment and frustration. Why? Because all I have to respond with is, "UGH! We're still waiting to have the home study conducted!"
Of course, being frustrated and disappointed doesn't really help too much. So Clif and I are left trying to decide on the best action for now. State our concerns about the communication and slow progress with the party concerned? Take the business of "our lives" elsewhere? Perhaps we will try the first of these two options and see where it gets us... Maybe next time I post it will be with cheer and good news... or at least cheer :).
I posted, probably about a month ago, with great relief, that we got news that all our paper work had been received along with forms from all our references. With this news, we were also told, "We're moving forward". However, we weren't necessarily told with what we were moving forward and have yet to hear ANYTHING concerning the progress of our adoption journey.
So, yeah, we're waiting- on a home study. But the more impatient part of me desperately wishes we were waiting for something else- our child! Along with the impatience during our "wait", frustration fills the remaining space of my thoughts on it all. The question, "How's the adoption process coming?", once an exciting or at least pleasant question to answer, has now become a boiling pot of disappointment and frustration. Why? Because all I have to respond with is, "UGH! We're still waiting to have the home study conducted!"
Of course, being frustrated and disappointed doesn't really help too much. So Clif and I are left trying to decide on the best action for now. State our concerns about the communication and slow progress with the party concerned? Take the business of "our lives" elsewhere? Perhaps we will try the first of these two options and see where it gets us... Maybe next time I post it will be with cheer and good news... or at least cheer :).
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Gotta Keep Moving On
http://www.needtobreathe.net/music/moving-on/
Unfortunately, not many changes have taken place since our last post... In fact, it almost seems as though there have been no changes at all! I believe in our last post we stated that we had finally finished our required classes and would be setting up a date for a home study. Since that time, it has been nothing more than taking a seat in the waiting room at a doctor's office. And not just any doctor's office- the office with which you have no insurance, and really the pains are minimal, so you will be the last patient they see even though you were the first there, leaving you with nothing but time to kill and mounds of paperwork to complete. Yep, that's where we are.
Here's a run down: Three weeks or so passed after having completed our training classes and we hadn't heard anything from our agency. So, I kindly email them wanting to know where we stood with the process and what we needed to do to move forward with the home study. The response: "We're awaiting your criminal history/ background check. Oh, and attached is 48 pages worth of questions you'll need to answer and send back." WHAT??? 48 pages???!!! Mind you, we've already spent hours filling out pre-applications and answering questions for homework during our class. As we read through the 48 pages worth of questions, we realize that it's simply the questions they should be asking when they come to do the home study. I emailed my thoughts concerning this issue, secretly hoping they might say, "You're right, they will ask those questions. No need to fill out more paperwork!" Of course, they didn't say that. So, we have to answer the questions on paper and then answer the same questions again when they interview us during the home study. Fun, huh? Riiiigggghhhhttt... In addition to the mountain of questions to answer, we also have sporadically been informed of random things we should be turning in (and we've been informed only because I continuously ask that they keep us updated).
So, you can probably see where we might be a little frustrated at this point of the process. I suppose it is to be expected and I'm sure harder times are to come in this process. We continue to look forward to the end result and are remaining positive (I know, this blog sounds so positive doesn't it?!). On a brighter note, we do know, via friends, that people have been receiving and completing the reference packets that were sent out by our agency. One small leap for Team Watts, one giant leap for our future child...??? Or something like that, haha!
We are moving forward with our lives and beginning to prepare our home for the home study and for a future child even though we're not quite sure when either of those will take place. My amazing mother will be coming soon to help us clean out, organize, and beautify our home. Thanks to her, and thanks to all of those that are thinking about us, providing your prayers, support, and ears to listen as we keep movin' on...
Unfortunately, not many changes have taken place since our last post... In fact, it almost seems as though there have been no changes at all! I believe in our last post we stated that we had finally finished our required classes and would be setting up a date for a home study. Since that time, it has been nothing more than taking a seat in the waiting room at a doctor's office. And not just any doctor's office- the office with which you have no insurance, and really the pains are minimal, so you will be the last patient they see even though you were the first there, leaving you with nothing but time to kill and mounds of paperwork to complete. Yep, that's where we are.
Here's a run down: Three weeks or so passed after having completed our training classes and we hadn't heard anything from our agency. So, I kindly email them wanting to know where we stood with the process and what we needed to do to move forward with the home study. The response: "We're awaiting your criminal history/ background check. Oh, and attached is 48 pages worth of questions you'll need to answer and send back." WHAT??? 48 pages???!!! Mind you, we've already spent hours filling out pre-applications and answering questions for homework during our class. As we read through the 48 pages worth of questions, we realize that it's simply the questions they should be asking when they come to do the home study. I emailed my thoughts concerning this issue, secretly hoping they might say, "You're right, they will ask those questions. No need to fill out more paperwork!" Of course, they didn't say that. So, we have to answer the questions on paper and then answer the same questions again when they interview us during the home study. Fun, huh? Riiiigggghhhhttt... In addition to the mountain of questions to answer, we also have sporadically been informed of random things we should be turning in (and we've been informed only because I continuously ask that they keep us updated).
So, you can probably see where we might be a little frustrated at this point of the process. I suppose it is to be expected and I'm sure harder times are to come in this process. We continue to look forward to the end result and are remaining positive (I know, this blog sounds so positive doesn't it?!). On a brighter note, we do know, via friends, that people have been receiving and completing the reference packets that were sent out by our agency. One small leap for Team Watts, one giant leap for our future child...??? Or something like that, haha!
We are moving forward with our lives and beginning to prepare our home for the home study and for a future child even though we're not quite sure when either of those will take place. My amazing mother will be coming soon to help us clean out, organize, and beautify our home. Thanks to her, and thanks to all of those that are thinking about us, providing your prayers, support, and ears to listen as we keep movin' on...
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Eye of the Tiger
Before we can start the "waiting step", awaiting the arrival of a child, there is a series of involved steps that must take place- paperwork, training, home studies, more paperwork, home inspections, interviews, more paperwork, and of course, preparing a room suitable for a child. It isn't the most fun process, but we know it will be well worth it after all is said and done.
Somehow, our last step of this series of processes became our first, perhaps because I LOVE house projects. About two months ago, as we discussed future possibilities of children, we decided that having the guest bedroom (what would one day be our child's bedroom) at the front of the house might not be as safe as having it across the hallway at the back of the house. Just a couple of days after our discussion, I switched the office and guest bedroom. But this ended up being more than just a "switch-a-roo" of rooms. It was a true transformation- pulling out carpet and replacing with wood floors, taking down popcorn ceiling, painting walls, ceiling, and other bedroom items. Thanks to my amazing mother, who I hope to become more like as I venture into motherhood, the transformation was accomplished in about two days! It was WELL worth the hard work! We are now even more excited to place a child in this "new" room and can imagine how it will transform even more to fit this special child's personality.
The week following this exhausting weekend room transformation began our training classes, called P.R.I.D.E. (Parent Resource Information for Development Education). We prepared our schedules so that we could attend classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 6-9 pm for the month of May (halfway assuming that the classes wouldn't actually last that long and we'd probably get out a little early each night). Our assumption did exactly what assumptions do ;). Our first class basically outlined the history of foster care and adoption and we also analyzed foster care/ adoption scenarios that we viewed in a 1990ish video. And yes, the class lasted from exactly 6:00 pm to 9:00 pm. The second class, this past Thursday, highlighted children's needs, where we also analyzed a few different scenarios. We discussed SIDS and Shaken Baby Syndrome as well. Lots of information is provided in these classes- which can be both a positive and negative thing for us. Positively speaking, we will have a deep understanding of all that foster care/ adoption entails. On the flip side, because of our degrees and careers (especially Clif's), we already are aware of and thoroughly understand the information provided. It's like knowing how to drive a car because grandma let you start driving at the age of 13, but still having to take driver's ed!
With that being said, we KNOW that this long process is something we have to go through. And you never know what kind of new information you will learn along the way. Therefore, with "Eye of the Tiger" as our theme song, we will approach these training classes and paperwork with perseverance and positive attitudes! We accept all encouragement along the way :).
We will finally be turning in our formal application this week when we attend our second week of training classes. Pray that it does not come back to us unfinished or needing more work. In June we have a two-day training session and once this is completed, a home study and further interviews and paperwork will take place.
Praise God for His sovereignty! There is a child being prepared as we begin preparing ourselves for his/ her arrival!
Somehow, our last step of this series of processes became our first, perhaps because I LOVE house projects. About two months ago, as we discussed future possibilities of children, we decided that having the guest bedroom (what would one day be our child's bedroom) at the front of the house might not be as safe as having it across the hallway at the back of the house. Just a couple of days after our discussion, I switched the office and guest bedroom. But this ended up being more than just a "switch-a-roo" of rooms. It was a true transformation- pulling out carpet and replacing with wood floors, taking down popcorn ceiling, painting walls, ceiling, and other bedroom items. Thanks to my amazing mother, who I hope to become more like as I venture into motherhood, the transformation was accomplished in about two days! It was WELL worth the hard work! We are now even more excited to place a child in this "new" room and can imagine how it will transform even more to fit this special child's personality.
The week following this exhausting weekend room transformation began our training classes, called P.R.I.D.E. (Parent Resource Information for Development Education). We prepared our schedules so that we could attend classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 6-9 pm for the month of May (halfway assuming that the classes wouldn't actually last that long and we'd probably get out a little early each night). Our assumption did exactly what assumptions do ;). Our first class basically outlined the history of foster care and adoption and we also analyzed foster care/ adoption scenarios that we viewed in a 1990ish video. And yes, the class lasted from exactly 6:00 pm to 9:00 pm. The second class, this past Thursday, highlighted children's needs, where we also analyzed a few different scenarios. We discussed SIDS and Shaken Baby Syndrome as well. Lots of information is provided in these classes- which can be both a positive and negative thing for us. Positively speaking, we will have a deep understanding of all that foster care/ adoption entails. On the flip side, because of our degrees and careers (especially Clif's), we already are aware of and thoroughly understand the information provided. It's like knowing how to drive a car because grandma let you start driving at the age of 13, but still having to take driver's ed!
We will finally be turning in our formal application this week when we attend our second week of training classes. Pray that it does not come back to us unfinished or needing more work. In June we have a two-day training session and once this is completed, a home study and further interviews and paperwork will take place.
Praise God for His sovereignty! There is a child being prepared as we begin preparing ourselves for his/ her arrival!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
The Grand Design...
So, I haven't really shared too much, mainly because Casey and I have been processing all of our thoughts between each other and our closest circles of supports, but I guess now is as good a time as any to let you in on my perspective and thoughts of all this adoption stuff.
For me, the thoughts of adopting entered my mind a long time ago, probably as far back to when I was about 12 years old. I can remember thinking about how great a dad I had and all the fun things we used to do and for some reason I always imagined that I would take a child that did not have that life and would give it to them. It goes back a bit farther though. When I was very young I wanted to be a Navy SEAL. I wanted to be big and strong like my dad and I wanted to be revered when I walked into a room as a man that had been tested to the end of physical limit and survived to tell about it, which is what a Navy SEAL is. They are tough, strong, smart, deadly, decisive and refuse to give up even at the cost of their own lives. My dad always pushed me away from that desire and pushed me towards helping people and reminded me often that he had dedicated me to the Lord as an infant, as one to be used by Him in whatever capacity He saw necessary. Daddio told me of other professions and gave me insight into the fact that there are other worthwhile things that I could invest my life in that would be just as impactful, if not more so, as killing bad guys. My mom showed me how to nurture and love unconditionally and even taught me how to make the best dag yum scrambled eggs on the planet (which benefits me to this day). I was a truly blessed child with wonderful parents! I ignored their input for as long as I could, until I was twelve years old and diagnosed with type one diabetes and began learning to poke and prod myself each day in order to manage a disease that was said to take years off of my life if I did not manage it well. I was told that I would go blind, lose limbs, have to be on dialysis and could even die at an early age of heart attack or stroke, and even got the unfortunate but educating privilege to see the ill effects of diabetes on my paternal grandfather (among other health problems he had). As a newly diagnosed diabetic my twelve year old plans of conquering the world as a Navy SEAL were squashed as I knew that the military would reject me as damaged goods and of no use to them, especially to the world's elite fighting forces.
My heart was a bit broken at the crumbling of my short lived dream, but I began to spawn new dreams and ideas about what Clif the Third's life would be all about. I had no idea of God's Sovereignty at that point, but it was surely at work in my life (how could it not be?). Another thing I remember vividly growing up was the age of everyone in my immediate family when they were baptized...9 years old. When I turned 9 I felt like everyone was waiting on me to make the scary walk down the isle and the confession of Jesus as my Savior and that my life was forever to be different at 9 years of age. Well, my dad told me that my Salvation was not pressed by time, but that when it was time that I would know, and that the feeling I got would have nothing to do with it, but the movement of my heart would deviate towards Christ and nothing else would satisfy the longing of my soul. Daddio was right, and at 12 years of age I had a true head knowledge and a heart longing to worship and follow Jesus the Nazarene as my Savior. Life would still bring struggles (and it surely has), but living by the principles of Biblical faith and the understanding that Jesus is the great High Priest that has made things right between me and the Creator of the Universe, my REAL dad, is what is most important. It is at this point that I began to think about adoption (in a very superficial sense) with the realization that I was adopted by God and am now his son, forever, and always. I felt, for some reason, as I began to think about this that I would one day adopt my son or daughter and do my dead level best to give them the best life had to offer.
The fact that my generation and the generations after me are increasingly growing up without fathers has been a constant and ashamedly unnoticed part of my professional life thus far. Fatherhood was a frequent conversation when I worked at Cho-Yeh
Before Casey and I got married I remember a conversation we had about kids and I asked her if she would be upset if we were for some reason unable to have our own child and she said to me, "Yeah, I'd be a little upset, but I'd get over it and we could adopt." I was even more sure of my choice to put a rock on that pretty little finger. I do a lot of reading and self diagnosing when it comes to diabetes and I did not know for sure, but I felt for some reason that something just wasn't right when it came to my reproductive system. The process was working fine, but the end result was not what it should be (I apologize if this is too much info, I am openly sharing and you can feel free to stop reading at this point and know that I am happy to be adopting and am super excited about being a dad, but if you choose to keep reading know that it may get uncomfortable for you :-)......for those that are brave, let us continue...I began reading about sexual problems of diabetics and came across something known as retrograde ejaculation which basically means that when a person with this condition ejaculates, it goes into his bladder instead of being expelled. I didn't want kids as a newly married man, so I didn't get too concerned at that point. After about a year of being married, Casey decided to stop taking her birth control. This was not necessarily to get pregnant, but knowing that this was a possibility, we felt ready and willing to add to our family if it was in the cards. The longer we went and Casey did not get pregnant, the more concerned she got each month and the more anxious I felt about my ability to reproduce and the dread of the pain that I was sure it would cause my wife. Conversation about this was a bit slow between us at first as we were both keeping our thoughts inside our hearts and minds. We decided that I would go to the doctor since I was pretty sure I was the problem in this equation. I did so and I had a wonderful doctor in my town give me confidence that he can almost guarantee that he can get my wife pregnant (HEY! WAIT A MINUTE BUDDY!!!) and he assured me that the problem we are having is due to my diabetes. He explained that one of the first displays of long term diabetes is nerve damage and he explained and showed me in vivid and graphic detail of the muscles involved and that if necessary they could electrocute my nether regions and preform a simple procedure on Casey to get her pregnant. Wam Bam thank you ma'am. He also informed me that depending on the day and how my body is that we could get pregnant naturally with no outside assistance. This was good news to me, but I wasn't to excited about the procedure. Casey and I began truly considering our options and I expressed my feelings about adoption and the great need of homes for the over 10,000 kids in foster care in Texas alone. Casey was in agreement. We sort of held on the the possibility of both having our own child and also adopting, but as time progressed we began to get excited about adopting OUR OWN child. We began to see the Biblical perspective of adoption and understand that the child we adopt WILL BE OUR CHILD!
So, it is getting late and the post could be never ending, but it is a bit of the background of my personal reasons and motivation for adopting. I will try to be more brief in future posts.
For me, the thoughts of adopting entered my mind a long time ago, probably as far back to when I was about 12 years old. I can remember thinking about how great a dad I had and all the fun things we used to do and for some reason I always imagined that I would take a child that did not have that life and would give it to them. It goes back a bit farther though. When I was very young I wanted to be a Navy SEAL. I wanted to be big and strong like my dad and I wanted to be revered when I walked into a room as a man that had been tested to the end of physical limit and survived to tell about it, which is what a Navy SEAL is. They are tough, strong, smart, deadly, decisive and refuse to give up even at the cost of their own lives. My dad always pushed me away from that desire and pushed me towards helping people and reminded me often that he had dedicated me to the Lord as an infant, as one to be used by Him in whatever capacity He saw necessary. Daddio told me of other professions and gave me insight into the fact that there are other worthwhile things that I could invest my life in that would be just as impactful, if not more so, as killing bad guys. My mom showed me how to nurture and love unconditionally and even taught me how to make the best dag yum scrambled eggs on the planet (which benefits me to this day). I was a truly blessed child with wonderful parents! I ignored their input for as long as I could, until I was twelve years old and diagnosed with type one diabetes and began learning to poke and prod myself each day in order to manage a disease that was said to take years off of my life if I did not manage it well. I was told that I would go blind, lose limbs, have to be on dialysis and could even die at an early age of heart attack or stroke, and even got the unfortunate but educating privilege to see the ill effects of diabetes on my paternal grandfather (among other health problems he had). As a newly diagnosed diabetic my twelve year old plans of conquering the world as a Navy SEAL were squashed as I knew that the military would reject me as damaged goods and of no use to them, especially to the world's elite fighting forces.
My heart was a bit broken at the crumbling of my short lived dream, but I began to spawn new dreams and ideas about what Clif the Third's life would be all about. I had no idea of God's Sovereignty at that point, but it was surely at work in my life (how could it not be?). Another thing I remember vividly growing up was the age of everyone in my immediate family when they were baptized...9 years old. When I turned 9 I felt like everyone was waiting on me to make the scary walk down the isle and the confession of Jesus as my Savior and that my life was forever to be different at 9 years of age. Well, my dad told me that my Salvation was not pressed by time, but that when it was time that I would know, and that the feeling I got would have nothing to do with it, but the movement of my heart would deviate towards Christ and nothing else would satisfy the longing of my soul. Daddio was right, and at 12 years of age I had a true head knowledge and a heart longing to worship and follow Jesus the Nazarene as my Savior. Life would still bring struggles (and it surely has), but living by the principles of Biblical faith and the understanding that Jesus is the great High Priest that has made things right between me and the Creator of the Universe, my REAL dad, is what is most important. It is at this point that I began to think about adoption (in a very superficial sense) with the realization that I was adopted by God and am now his son, forever, and always. I felt, for some reason, as I began to think about this that I would one day adopt my son or daughter and do my dead level best to give them the best life had to offer.
The fact that my generation and the generations after me are increasingly growing up without fathers has been a constant and ashamedly unnoticed part of my professional life thus far. Fatherhood was a frequent conversation when I worked at Cho-Yeh
Before Casey and I got married I remember a conversation we had about kids and I asked her if she would be upset if we were for some reason unable to have our own child and she said to me, "Yeah, I'd be a little upset, but I'd get over it and we could adopt." I was even more sure of my choice to put a rock on that pretty little finger. I do a lot of reading and self diagnosing when it comes to diabetes and I did not know for sure, but I felt for some reason that something just wasn't right when it came to my reproductive system. The process was working fine, but the end result was not what it should be (I apologize if this is too much info, I am openly sharing and you can feel free to stop reading at this point and know that I am happy to be adopting and am super excited about being a dad, but if you choose to keep reading know that it may get uncomfortable for you :-)......for those that are brave, let us continue...I began reading about sexual problems of diabetics and came across something known as retrograde ejaculation which basically means that when a person with this condition ejaculates, it goes into his bladder instead of being expelled. I didn't want kids as a newly married man, so I didn't get too concerned at that point. After about a year of being married, Casey decided to stop taking her birth control. This was not necessarily to get pregnant, but knowing that this was a possibility, we felt ready and willing to add to our family if it was in the cards. The longer we went and Casey did not get pregnant, the more concerned she got each month and the more anxious I felt about my ability to reproduce and the dread of the pain that I was sure it would cause my wife. Conversation about this was a bit slow between us at first as we were both keeping our thoughts inside our hearts and minds. We decided that I would go to the doctor since I was pretty sure I was the problem in this equation. I did so and I had a wonderful doctor in my town give me confidence that he can almost guarantee that he can get my wife pregnant (HEY! WAIT A MINUTE BUDDY!!!) and he assured me that the problem we are having is due to my diabetes. He explained that one of the first displays of long term diabetes is nerve damage and he explained and showed me in vivid and graphic detail of the muscles involved and that if necessary they could electrocute my nether regions and preform a simple procedure on Casey to get her pregnant. Wam Bam thank you ma'am. He also informed me that depending on the day and how my body is that we could get pregnant naturally with no outside assistance. This was good news to me, but I wasn't to excited about the procedure. Casey and I began truly considering our options and I expressed my feelings about adoption and the great need of homes for the over 10,000 kids in foster care in Texas alone. Casey was in agreement. We sort of held on the the possibility of both having our own child and also adopting, but as time progressed we began to get excited about adopting OUR OWN child. We began to see the Biblical perspective of adoption and understand that the child we adopt WILL BE OUR CHILD!
So, it is getting late and the post could be never ending, but it is a bit of the background of my personal reasons and motivation for adopting. I will try to be more brief in future posts.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
And the decision is made...
Two years into marriage, and we start thinking, "Yeah, let's add to our family." And that's where the journey begins. I'll save you from all the boring, intimate details and just say that we had no luck of conceiving for two years. As time continued to pass, Clif and I sought medical council on the matter. It turned out that although it is not impossible for us to conceive on our own, it is unlikely. At that point, doctors assured us that "they could get us pregnant". So we began to think about what would be the best decision for us.
We knew early on in our marriage that we wanted to adopt at some point in our life together. The more I thought about us being probed and prodded in order to *possibly* create a child together, the more disinterested I became. And the more disinterested I became in that process, the more interested I became in the adopting. For a few months I struggled with these two options and Clif patiently and lovingly listened and assured me as my mind continuously pondered a multitude of questions...
Soon thereafter, Clif and I attended an information meeting about adoption. We both started gravitating more and more towards this option feeling very confident that there is a child out there right now who needs a home and needs our love. We began searching for others around us that may have gone through the adoption process to help us understand the process and all that adoption entails. Suddenly, it seemed as though we were surrounded by people who had either adopted or had been adopted. Little time passed before we completed and turned in a preliminary application to begin the adoption process. Even in completing this application, we found ourselves falling more in love with bringing a child into our home to raise.
We are now in the process of completing a formal application, which is quite lengthy. Our excitement surpasses what any words could express. We are filled with peace and joy in our decision to grow our family through adoption. Although we know that difficult times will come about as we raise this child now awaiting our love, we are able to bask in the great love and mercy of our Father and the support of family and friends with which He has so blessed us.
And so the decision is made!
We knew early on in our marriage that we wanted to adopt at some point in our life together. The more I thought about us being probed and prodded in order to *possibly* create a child together, the more disinterested I became. And the more disinterested I became in that process, the more interested I became in the adopting. For a few months I struggled with these two options and Clif patiently and lovingly listened and assured me as my mind continuously pondered a multitude of questions...
"Should we get help from doctors now and adopt if we cannot conceive?" "Should we go ahead and adopt and hope for a child of our own in the future?" "Will I regret not seeking help from doctors?" "Will I regret NOT adopting now?"Finally, I poured out all my thoughts and turned it over to the One who is beyond capable of hearing about and handling our greatest predicaments. Soon thereafter, a great sea of hope, prayer, and encouragement surrounded me through a great group of ladies for which I will forever be thankful. I came to realize that no decision here could be a "bad" decision. And whatever we decided would be righteous in God's eyes. Either way, through adoption or not, we would be raising a child that will be loved unconditionally.
Soon thereafter, Clif and I attended an information meeting about adoption. We both started gravitating more and more towards this option feeling very confident that there is a child out there right now who needs a home and needs our love. We began searching for others around us that may have gone through the adoption process to help us understand the process and all that adoption entails. Suddenly, it seemed as though we were surrounded by people who had either adopted or had been adopted. Little time passed before we completed and turned in a preliminary application to begin the adoption process. Even in completing this application, we found ourselves falling more in love with bringing a child into our home to raise.
We are now in the process of completing a formal application, which is quite lengthy. Our excitement surpasses what any words could express. We are filled with peace and joy in our decision to grow our family through adoption. Although we know that difficult times will come about as we raise this child now awaiting our love, we are able to bask in the great love and mercy of our Father and the support of family and friends with which He has so blessed us.
And so the decision is made!
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