Sure, that'd be nice to trust in...
Truthfully... I've been relying on my own timing. I don't consider myself much of a control freak in most areas of life, but I am definitely such when it comes to schedules and the timing of "life". For example, I have WAY too many projects in mind for our house. Right, having projects in mind is not a bad thing. However, when I think of a project, I have the tendency to want it done NOW. And because we're not made of money and time, I have to wait, and what's worse is I don't have a specific date at which I will no longer have to wait and the project(s) will be complete.
It seems like the timelines of so many things right now are questionable. Perhaps the timeline of our adoption is the most difficult to understand. We started in January with this process. Yep, it's nearly been a year. We're still awaiting the home study. And even after we have that completed, who knows how long it will be before we actually have the laughter, tears, and sweet breath of a child in our home. I had planned to have a "work weekend" here THIS month. Of course, a plan was all it was. I got angry that everyone's timing didn't work out. I want the home study done NOW, dang it! Sometimes I think, "If I was pregnant, I'd know how long it would be- 9 months." But the wait is a struggle, and frankly rather depressing.
So, I can only wonder what God might be trying to teach me right now. Or wonder what miraculous thing He has planned that requires the wait... That's something to think about, hmmm... Something beautiful, I'm sure.
You couldn't have posted this at a better time! I've been thinking the same thing about our wait. So many emotions (frustration mostly) and fears, but I know that God has a purpose and a reason for this season in our lives. I am so encouraged and refreshed by your post.
ReplyDeleteThank you!