Yes, we are finally GETTING THERE! And by "there", I do mean having a child in our home soon! Our home study finally took place in November (and was as painless as it could possibly be, thank God). Because we have decided to foster to adopt, we had to attend two additional trainings which we have officially completed. We are proud to say that we are a licensed home and ready to take in a child/ children!
Many people ask what our preferences are in regards to age, sex, or ethnicity. We are licensed to take children from 0-10 years old, but prefer children under the ages of 4-6. Boy or girl?- either one! Black, white, hispanic?- doesn't matter! Basically, if they are young, healthy, and need a home, we'll take 'em! We also will consider sibling groups- yes, we are aware that this would be a lot to take on, but we're not afraid :).
Since becoming a licensed home (which was just last week), we have had only a couple of situations where we could be possible foster/ adoptive parents. Our "Dear Caseworker" letter has been turned in for one child, however we have to keep in mind that there are likely several other parents being considered and circumstances about which we are unaware. So, we are trying not to get our hopes up, but instead are continuing to think about the perfect plan God has for us and our future children. Even if this child, or the many children for whom we are not chosen, is not placed in our home, it is awesome to think about how we are praying for a child who will never meet us and we will know that he or she is likely part of a new and fantastic permanent family.
That's all for the time being! We are officially "waiting" :).
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
No End in Sight???
In the last post, I proudly wrote, "We also are VERY happy to announce that our home study has been scheduled for next Tuesday, October 25! FINALLY!"
HA! Like things would really work out like we expect...
The coordinator we are now working with came into our home, sat down at the kitchen table, laid out a set of what looked like really important papers and folders, and began talking to us about different things that had originally been very unclear. As she went on, she dropped this phrase, "...and when you they come to do the home study..." Huh??? We thought this WAS the home study!!! She apologized for having misled us and went on to answer the questions that kept growing in our minds afterward.
Needless to say, we were pretty peeved/ bummed. Here we are getting super excited about getting this step completed and then another wrench gets thrown in the way.
BUT, here's where God's work is evident:
In recent conversations, Clif and I began to think realistically about the time frame behind awaiting a child to adopt- especially a very young child. When a young child becomes available for adoption (say, an infant up to 3 or 4 years of age), there are AT LEAST 80 profiles that are accepted within a very short amount of time for that child. Our chances of being selected and being a great match for that child at that point are not necessarily slim, but also not great. As we discussed this with our new coordinator last night, we came to the decision that we will foster to adopt, which is different than straight adoption in a few ways (which I can explain at another point or at your request). This DOES mean that there is a possibility that the child coming into our home could be removed and returned to his/ her birthparents. However, if they are not removed and are a good match for us and us for them, we would have first "dibs", if you will.
Because we have made a slightly different decision, we now are required to take more courses to qualify as a foster home. Therefore, completing our home study right now is irrelevant, because we cannot take children into our home without first having had these other courses. And we probably wouldn't have come to this decision without having first met with our new coordinator last night. And maybe we would not have gotten our last few bits of preparation complete had we not assumed last night was the home study and had we not somehow had the extra bit of money this month to complete those preparations.
In all things, God is good. Even in our frustrated state of mind, God is present and working in ways we cannot understand. We are excited about our new decision, but again are praying that we can quickly accomplish these tasks that will get us "qualified" as foster parents. We are anxiously awaiting our turn to become parents. Even though there seems to be no end in sight, we know that God has already constructed what will be and in this, we are faithful.
HA! Like things would really work out like we expect...
The coordinator we are now working with came into our home, sat down at the kitchen table, laid out a set of what looked like really important papers and folders, and began talking to us about different things that had originally been very unclear. As she went on, she dropped this phrase, "...and when you they come to do the home study..." Huh??? We thought this WAS the home study!!! She apologized for having misled us and went on to answer the questions that kept growing in our minds afterward.
Needless to say, we were pretty peeved/ bummed. Here we are getting super excited about getting this step completed and then another wrench gets thrown in the way.
BUT, here's where God's work is evident:
In recent conversations, Clif and I began to think realistically about the time frame behind awaiting a child to adopt- especially a very young child. When a young child becomes available for adoption (say, an infant up to 3 or 4 years of age), there are AT LEAST 80 profiles that are accepted within a very short amount of time for that child. Our chances of being selected and being a great match for that child at that point are not necessarily slim, but also not great. As we discussed this with our new coordinator last night, we came to the decision that we will foster to adopt, which is different than straight adoption in a few ways (which I can explain at another point or at your request). This DOES mean that there is a possibility that the child coming into our home could be removed and returned to his/ her birthparents. However, if they are not removed and are a good match for us and us for them, we would have first "dibs", if you will.
Because we have made a slightly different decision, we now are required to take more courses to qualify as a foster home. Therefore, completing our home study right now is irrelevant, because we cannot take children into our home without first having had these other courses. And we probably wouldn't have come to this decision without having first met with our new coordinator last night. And maybe we would not have gotten our last few bits of preparation complete had we not assumed last night was the home study and had we not somehow had the extra bit of money this month to complete those preparations.
In all things, God is good. Even in our frustrated state of mind, God is present and working in ways we cannot understand. We are excited about our new decision, but again are praying that we can quickly accomplish these tasks that will get us "qualified" as foster parents. We are anxiously awaiting our turn to become parents. Even though there seems to be no end in sight, we know that God has already constructed what will be and in this, we are faithful.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
The journey we call "LIFE"
Well, I'm usually pretty good about starting off with an interesting introduction, but I think I'll just jump right in with where we are in our LLLOOOONNNNGGGG adoption journey... that's sure to receive a reward for its longevity. If it doesn't, I'll be expecting a certificate of some sort from at least one person we know, **hint, hint** :).
So, two weekends ago mom came down and we worked like I've never worked before (or so it felt the day after) in high hopes of getting everything ready for the home health inspection that was to occur (and did occur) the following Monday. I am SUPER thankful for her help! Our home health inspection went alright, but there were a few things mentioned that caused our social worker to say, "I'll jot down that you'll get those things fixed and I'll have to do one more walk-through before the home study." That was a little disheartening, but we already have a couple of those very minor things checked off our list. Most of it was a matter of getting all meds locked up and moving some tools and cleaning supplies to super high shelves or locking them up (lots of locking things up). We asked several questions about when that next "walk-through" would be and how long before our home study, however we were met with few answers.
A week or so later, it came to our surprise that our case worker had resigned to pursue other career opportunities. Someone from the agency has already picked up with us and is keeping in touch with us on a regular basis and answering questions in a very timely manner. We also are VERY happy to announce that our home study has been scheduled for next Tuesday, October 25! FINALLY! No "walk-through" ahead of time, just the home study itself! We know that it will go smoothly and quickly. After our home study is approved (which could take some time) we will officially be "waiting" for our child to come along.
While we wait, we have discussed becoming foster parents for legal risk children (basically, children whose parents' rights are likely, but not guaranteed, to be terminated). If we did this, we would request to foster infants and would have the option to adopt them should the birth parents' rights be terminated. Of course, if the parents' rights are not terminated, the child would leave us and go back to the birth parents, OR to someone in the family willing to accept responsibility for the child, which would be very difficult for us. At the same time, we would take care of them like they were our very own which would be a blessing to them (even for just a short time) and to us.
And so the journey continues :). Lots of interesting things are happening along the way, not only in our adoption process, but also in our day to day lives- new jobs (for us both), changes in our "family" (our dogs lol), and changes in our home. God has provided and will continue to provide and strengthen us in this amazing journey we call "LIFE"!
So, two weekends ago mom came down and we worked like I've never worked before (or so it felt the day after) in high hopes of getting everything ready for the home health inspection that was to occur (and did occur) the following Monday. I am SUPER thankful for her help! Our home health inspection went alright, but there were a few things mentioned that caused our social worker to say, "I'll jot down that you'll get those things fixed and I'll have to do one more walk-through before the home study." That was a little disheartening, but we already have a couple of those very minor things checked off our list. Most of it was a matter of getting all meds locked up and moving some tools and cleaning supplies to super high shelves or locking them up (lots of locking things up). We asked several questions about when that next "walk-through" would be and how long before our home study, however we were met with few answers.
A week or so later, it came to our surprise that our case worker had resigned to pursue other career opportunities. Someone from the agency has already picked up with us and is keeping in touch with us on a regular basis and answering questions in a very timely manner. We also are VERY happy to announce that our home study has been scheduled for next Tuesday, October 25! FINALLY! No "walk-through" ahead of time, just the home study itself! We know that it will go smoothly and quickly. After our home study is approved (which could take some time) we will officially be "waiting" for our child to come along.
While we wait, we have discussed becoming foster parents for legal risk children (basically, children whose parents' rights are likely, but not guaranteed, to be terminated). If we did this, we would request to foster infants and would have the option to adopt them should the birth parents' rights be terminated. Of course, if the parents' rights are not terminated, the child would leave us and go back to the birth parents, OR to someone in the family willing to accept responsibility for the child, which would be very difficult for us. At the same time, we would take care of them like they were our very own which would be a blessing to them (even for just a short time) and to us.
And so the journey continues :). Lots of interesting things are happening along the way, not only in our adoption process, but also in our day to day lives- new jobs (for us both), changes in our "family" (our dogs lol), and changes in our home. God has provided and will continue to provide and strengthen us in this amazing journey we call "LIFE"!
Thursday, September 29, 2011
PROGRESS, Finally!
Can you believe it? We have finally made some progress! Somehow this month flew by (perhaps it could be because of working two jobs and a busy schedule on top of that???) and it flew by without much house work getting done in preparation for a home study. I suppose I'm okay with that. This is our home, it's fit for a child, and we will continually be working towards remodeling it to become unique to us (and most other buyers ha!).
But, ALL papers have been completed and signed, by us at least, our fire inspection is complete, and our home health inspection is taking place this coming Monday, October 3 at 3:30!!! I wanted it completed in the first week of October, and so it will be! Of course, now I'm fretting about getting everything completed for the health inspection in one weekend. Thankfully, my awesome mom is coming in for the weekend to help get this place more than ready to meet/ exceed the requirements of the health inspection. As soon as we pass the health inspection, the home study will FINALLY be scheduled!
I'm SO excited that we can see an end to the beginning of our "waiting". At that point we will at least know that our next step will be opening our arms to our child/children. Praise God for His perfect timing and the lessons He teaches us in the times we struggle to understand Him and His plans for us!
But, ALL papers have been completed and signed, by us at least, our fire inspection is complete, and our home health inspection is taking place this coming Monday, October 3 at 3:30!!! I wanted it completed in the first week of October, and so it will be! Of course, now I'm fretting about getting everything completed for the health inspection in one weekend. Thankfully, my awesome mom is coming in for the weekend to help get this place more than ready to meet/ exceed the requirements of the health inspection. As soon as we pass the health inspection, the home study will FINALLY be scheduled!
I'm SO excited that we can see an end to the beginning of our "waiting". At that point we will at least know that our next step will be opening our arms to our child/children. Praise God for His perfect timing and the lessons He teaches us in the times we struggle to understand Him and His plans for us!
YEAH! :)
Friday, September 9, 2011
Beautiful Things
God's timing?
Sure, that'd be nice to trust in...
Truthfully... I've been relying on my own timing. I don't consider myself much of a control freak in most areas of life, but I am definitely such when it comes to schedules and the timing of "life". For example, I have WAY too many projects in mind for our house. Right, having projects in mind is not a bad thing. However, when I think of a project, I have the tendency to want it done NOW. And because we're not made of money and time, I have to wait, and what's worse is I don't have a specific date at which I will no longer have to wait and the project(s) will be complete.
It seems like the timelines of so many things right now are questionable. Perhaps the timeline of our adoption is the most difficult to understand. We started in January with this process. Yep, it's nearly been a year. We're still awaiting the home study. And even after we have that completed, who knows how long it will be before we actually have the laughter, tears, and sweet breath of a child in our home. I had planned to have a "work weekend" here THIS month. Of course, a plan was all it was. I got angry that everyone's timing didn't work out. I want the home study done NOW, dang it! Sometimes I think, "If I was pregnant, I'd know how long it would be- 9 months." But the wait is a struggle, and frankly rather depressing.
So, I can only wonder what God might be trying to teach me right now. Or wonder what miraculous thing He has planned that requires the wait... That's something to think about, hmmm... Something beautiful, I'm sure.
I'm required now to only trust in His timing, not my own. What a relief it is to know that the only true God who created me has authored my life! He makes beautiful things out of dust, and will make beautiful things out of this wait.
Sure, that'd be nice to trust in...
Truthfully... I've been relying on my own timing. I don't consider myself much of a control freak in most areas of life, but I am definitely such when it comes to schedules and the timing of "life". For example, I have WAY too many projects in mind for our house. Right, having projects in mind is not a bad thing. However, when I think of a project, I have the tendency to want it done NOW. And because we're not made of money and time, I have to wait, and what's worse is I don't have a specific date at which I will no longer have to wait and the project(s) will be complete.
It seems like the timelines of so many things right now are questionable. Perhaps the timeline of our adoption is the most difficult to understand. We started in January with this process. Yep, it's nearly been a year. We're still awaiting the home study. And even after we have that completed, who knows how long it will be before we actually have the laughter, tears, and sweet breath of a child in our home. I had planned to have a "work weekend" here THIS month. Of course, a plan was all it was. I got angry that everyone's timing didn't work out. I want the home study done NOW, dang it! Sometimes I think, "If I was pregnant, I'd know how long it would be- 9 months." But the wait is a struggle, and frankly rather depressing.
So, I can only wonder what God might be trying to teach me right now. Or wonder what miraculous thing He has planned that requires the wait... That's something to think about, hmmm... Something beautiful, I'm sure.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Finally, some guidance!
In the most recent post, which was about 3 days ago, I vented/ complained/ shared about our frustration with the lack of communication from our adoption coordinator. We decided to state our concerns (once again) to this person and also provide our decision to go elsewhere if necessary. We FINALLY were provided some guidance in how to move forward in the process. Turns out, we still have papers to sign, things to turn in, and things to have done! Imagine that!
Here is what we HAVE completed/ turned in:
So, I write all of this not to have a place just to share our frustrations (God knows I do enough of that with my friends and family). But someday, someone else out there will be going through the same process and maybe, just maybe, they will be experiencing what we're going through. And perhaps this will provide some insight to their decisions or at least learn that being frank, but also patient, promotes a much easier adoption process.
That's all for now! I'm hopeful that the next update will be soon and will be informing all about the experience of a home study. Meanwhile, check out our "Dear Caseworker" letter and tell me who wouldn't want us as parents!!! ;)
Here is what we HAVE completed/ turned in:
- Pre-application
- Application
- Foster/ adoption classes
- Rather long questionnaire
- Reference forms
Here is what we STILL have to complete:
- Floor plan with smoke alarms and fire extinguishers included
- Home health inspection
- Fire inspection
- Walk through
- Sign more papers
- Dear Caseworker Letter (which I've included in this blog)
Will the to-do list ever end? Will we turn these things in and be informed of more??? We are told that the home study will be scheduled after the aforementioned items are completed. We shall see. At least we're one step closer to seeing an end to the most tedious part of it all.
So, I write all of this not to have a place just to share our frustrations (God knows I do enough of that with my friends and family). But someday, someone else out there will be going through the same process and maybe, just maybe, they will be experiencing what we're going through. And perhaps this will provide some insight to their decisions or at least learn that being frank, but also patient, promotes a much easier adoption process.
That's all for now! I'm hopeful that the next update will be soon and will be informing all about the experience of a home study. Meanwhile, check out our "Dear Caseworker" letter and tell me who wouldn't want us as parents!!! ;)
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Wish we were waiting...
Yeah, we're waiting... but I wish we were waiting for something else. Let me explain:
I posted, probably about a month ago, with great relief, that we got news that all our paper work had been received along with forms from all our references. With this news, we were also told, "We're moving forward". However, we weren't necessarily told with what we were moving forward and have yet to hear ANYTHING concerning the progress of our adoption journey.
So, yeah, we're waiting- on a home study. But the more impatient part of me desperately wishes we were waiting for something else- our child! Along with the impatience during our "wait", frustration fills the remaining space of my thoughts on it all. The question, "How's the adoption process coming?", once an exciting or at least pleasant question to answer, has now become a boiling pot of disappointment and frustration. Why? Because all I have to respond with is, "UGH! We're still waiting to have the home study conducted!"
Of course, being frustrated and disappointed doesn't really help too much. So Clif and I are left trying to decide on the best action for now. State our concerns about the communication and slow progress with the party concerned? Take the business of "our lives" elsewhere? Perhaps we will try the first of these two options and see where it gets us... Maybe next time I post it will be with cheer and good news... or at least cheer :).
I posted, probably about a month ago, with great relief, that we got news that all our paper work had been received along with forms from all our references. With this news, we were also told, "We're moving forward". However, we weren't necessarily told with what we were moving forward and have yet to hear ANYTHING concerning the progress of our adoption journey.
So, yeah, we're waiting- on a home study. But the more impatient part of me desperately wishes we were waiting for something else- our child! Along with the impatience during our "wait", frustration fills the remaining space of my thoughts on it all. The question, "How's the adoption process coming?", once an exciting or at least pleasant question to answer, has now become a boiling pot of disappointment and frustration. Why? Because all I have to respond with is, "UGH! We're still waiting to have the home study conducted!"
Of course, being frustrated and disappointed doesn't really help too much. So Clif and I are left trying to decide on the best action for now. State our concerns about the communication and slow progress with the party concerned? Take the business of "our lives" elsewhere? Perhaps we will try the first of these two options and see where it gets us... Maybe next time I post it will be with cheer and good news... or at least cheer :).
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